For open adoption, who does it benefit? Anyway, we’re going to talk about that today on all about adoption. Hi, if we haven’t met, I’m Steffany Aye I’m the founder and executive director of Adoption & Beyond, and so I’m going to talk about how open adoption, uh, is a positive experience for everybody in the adoption process. We’re going to talk about how it is for the adopting family, how it is for the birth parents, and how it is for the child being adopted. So, let’s dive into how this benefits the adopting family.
Sometimes when adoptive families come to adoption, open adoption kind of scares them because they feel are they really going to be seen as a parent or are they going to be the rent-a-parent? So, I think for, with regards to openness, it’s knowing that the expecting mom who later becomes the birth mother, has chosen you and she feels you are the best parent for her child. So that just kind of gives you a sense of peace, like you are entitled to adopt the child because sometimes people feel like, well, how, why am I entitled to adopt this child or to raise this child? So, it just gives you a sense of peace in knowing that this child is yours and that the expecting mom chose you. It provides you with more information now and into the future.
So medical information is ever changing, so it allows you to keep up with the medical information that changes over time. It provides you with an understanding of nature versus nurture. There’s a lot of controversy and we find that with adoption, nature and nurture impact the child just as equally, and they’re both just as important as each other. One’s not more important than the other. So, it allows you that ability to also have the nurture and the nature combined together.
It gives you the, the adopted family, the ability to answer their child’s question. Why was I placed? Who do I look like? Where’d I get my musical abilities from? It gives them that avenue to be able to answer those questions for their child.
It also removes the fear of the unknown. You don’t have to worry Is this, you know, are the birth parents going to come back and want the child? And it just removes all that fear. They know who the birth family is, they’re involved in their lives. They both are rallying around and helping this child grow and to be the best and healthiest child that they can be into a, you know, a productive adult.
And so, it just removes that fear away from not knowing who the birth family is for the child. It just gives them more information about who they are as a person, a better sense of identity. They don’t need to, um, you know, think about where did I come from? They know that information. So, it just helps them know who they are as they grow.
It helps lessen the feelings of abandonment. When the child has communication in an open relationship with the birth family. They know that they just were not abandoned and not wanted and that they are loved and, um, wanted by the birth family. If the birth family was able to parent them, they had that relationship. And it really helps lessen those feelings of abandonment.
It also helps them deal with reality versus fantasy. When you have information about your family, you, you don’t have to fill in gaps when you don’t have information. Children try to create stories and fantasies to fill in the gaps that they don’t have. And so, it just helps them be able to, um, tease out the reality versus fantasy. For the birth parents, it just gives them a sense of peace, and they know that their child is doing well.
They know that their child is happy, they have a sense of peace of knowing where their child is and how they’re doing. It helps birth parents really reaffirm their decision that they made the right decision for their child. It goes back to they know how their child is doing, they see the realities of their decision, and it really helps give a peace and reaffirm that they made the right decision. It really helps in their grief process too, to know that their child is doing well and that really helps give peace to their grieving and helps them grieve the loss of their child just knowing and being able to see their child. Also, they don’t have to worry about whether their child ever feels like they weren’t loved.
They’re able to give concrete evidence of that love and the love that they do provide to their child and just being available to them and being able to answer their questions and being in their life. They’re able to concretely show their love to the child as they grow. So, if you ever have any questions about open adoption, and we’d be happy to answer those for you. So please feel free to hit the subscribe button below and please feel free to comment about your thoughts on open adoptions and I look forward to seeing you next week. Thanks.
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