Have you ever noticed that some people seem to make habits stick with very little effort, while others struggle to get past day three? Maybe you’ve experienced this yourself. You’ve set a goal, like working out, journaling, or cutting back on bed rotting (that’s lying in bed all day doing nothing productive). You start out strong, but then life happens and before you know it, you’re back to square one. Meanwhile, someone else in your life seems to just decide that they’re going to do something and they follow through like it’s second nature.
So what’s the difference? You might be tempted to think that it comes down to willpower or motivation, but the real answer has much more to do with how you work with your brain’s natural tendencies, rather than trying to overpower them. I’m Dr. Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist, and I help you strengthen your mind, fortify your brain, and build resilience. In our last two videos, we talked about how habits form in the brain and why bad habits can be so stubborn.
In this video, we’re going to look at what sets successful habit builders apart and more importantly, how you can use these insights to build lasting habits yourself.
Let’s start: What’s happening under the hood? One of the biggest brain-based differences between people who successfully build habits and those who struggle is the degree to which their behaviors become automated. We’ve talked before about how habits are stored in the region of the brain called the basal ganglia. This is your brain’s auto-pilot system.
Once a behavior becomes a habit, the basal ganglia take over, allowing you to perform the action with little to no conscious effort. But here’s what’s interesting. Successful habit builders don’t just have stronger willpower.
They’ve managed to delegate more decisions to that autopilot system, which means that they don’t have to rely on motivation every time they want to act. And that gives them a huge advantage. This is something you can train your brain to do as well. Every time you repeat a behavior in a consistent context, like brushing your teeth after breakfast or taking a walk at lunch, you’re reinforcing the neural pathway associated with that behavior.
Over time, the path becomes so well-worn that the behavior just flows. But here’s the catch: Your brain needs clarity to do that. One of the top reasons people fail to form habits is because they’re too vague. Saying, “I want to eat healthier” or “I’m going to be more active”. It’s like giving your brain a blurry roadmap Your brain doesn’t know what to latch on to when, where, or how this new behavior is supposed to happen. Without clear instructions, your brain can’t automate anything. Compare that to something like, “I drink a glass of water right after I brush my teeth in the morning.” Now your brain knows exactly when the behavior happens, what triggers it, and how it fits into the existing routine. That clarity gives your brain something that it can encode. And once you’re that behavior is stored in your basal ganglia, you don’t have to spend as much mental energy to keep it going.
So, if you’re struggling to make a habit stick, ask yourself, “Am I being specific enough? Is my brain getting a clear signal about when and where to act?” Another factor that separates successful habit builders is how they structure their environment. And this is an area where a lot of people rely too heavily on willpower, when in reality, environment often wins. And here’s what I mean by that. Let’s say you’re trying to cook at home more often instead of ordering takeout. If your refrigerator is empty and the takeout menus are stacked on the counter, you’re making it harder to follow through. But if you’ve prepped ingredients, you’ve planned ahead as to exactly what your meals are going to be, or you’ve placed a meal plan on the refrigerator door, you’ve made the desired behavior the path of least resistance.
And this is what’s called environmental design. And it’s something that successful habit builders do almost without thinking about it.
They place cues in their path, like setting work clothes out the night before, or putting a journal on their pillow so that their environment is nudging them in the right direction. Now let’s talk about identity, because it plays a big role in both bad and good habits. In the last video, I talked about how self-concept can reinforce bad habits. When we say things like, “I’m just someone who procrastinates”, or “I’ve never been good with routines”. Those habits shape our behavior and make it harder to change. They become part of the script our brain runs on repeat.
But the flip side of that is also true, and this is where the shift happens. People who build lasting habits don’t just change their behavior.
They change how they see themselves. They start telling a new story, one with where the desired habits sit, who they are, not just something that they’re trying to force. So, let’s say you want to become someone who writes more consistently. If you say, “I’m trying to write every day,” you’re still framing it as something external, a task that you want to do. But if you start saying, I’m a writer, that taps into your identity and your brain is wired to protect and reinforce anything that feels like you. In fact, research shows that when behavior aligns with our self-image, it engages more of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for planning, decision making, and self-control. That means that your brain will actually work harder to maintain the habit, if it believes that that habit reflects who you are.
Now, this might feel like you’re faking something or just making up stuff to believe, but a reframe of that thought is that you’re choosing a version of yourself to grow into. And you’re reinforcing it with small, consistent actions. You don’t have to be perfect with this, but your language does matter. Saying “I don’t miss workouts” is more effective than “I’m trying to work out more.” The first one is a self-definition: “I’m a person who doesn’t miss workouts.” But the second statement is just a wish. So, try this. Take the habit that you want to build and reframe it through the lens of identity. Instead of “I want to meditate more”, say “I’m someone who takes the time to reset my mind, even if it feels a little aspirational at first”, the brain will start wiring itself around that identity if you act in alignment with it, even in little, small ways.
This brings us to something called implementation planning. Implementation planning is the difference between hoping you’ll do something and actually building it into your day. It’s the difference between “I’ll try to read more” and “after I make coffee, I’ll read one page while I drink it.” This works because it gives your brain a cue, a behavior, and a built-in reward. All the ingredients that are needed to build a habit loop, and over time, those loops become your default. One simple way to start this is with if then planning. For example, “if I feel anxious, then I’ll take three deep breaths.” Or “if it’s 7:30 and I’m home from work, then I’ll put on my sneakers and go for a walk.” The more specific and tied to a context, the better.
This kind of planning shifts your brain from reactive to proactive. Now let’s address something that trips up almost everyone at some point, which is falling off track. The reality is successful habit builders don’t avoid failure; they just recover from it faster. And that’s the real skill you want to build. Bounce-back-ability. Your brain is wired to seek patterns in continuity. So, when you miss a day or two, it’s tempting to think that you’ve broken the streak, so the habits just lost.
But what the research actually shows is that one, even two missed days has very little impact on long term habit formation. As long as you get back on track quickly and this is where I recommend having a failure-recovery protocol, that’s just a fancy way of saying decide in advance what you’ll do when, not if, you slip. For example, if you miss your morning meditation, maybe you’ll shorten it to one minute in the afternoon. If you skip a workout, maybe you’ll go for a short walk that evening instead. The goal isn’t perfection– It’s resilience. You’re training your brain to view setbacks as part of the process, not the end of the process. So let’s bring this all together. People who build better habits aren’t better people. They’re just using better strategies. They’re creating clarity instead of ambiguity. They’re designing environments that support the behavior that they want. They’re linking their habits to their identity, not just motivation.
They’re planning ahead using specific cues.
And when they stumble, they have a plan on how to get back up. These are all things that you can do. You don’t have to overhaul your entire life overnight. In fact, most sustainable changes usually come from small, consistent shifts that compound over time. In our next video, we’re going to take things even further by looking at how tiny habits, really small ones, can actually rewire your brain to be more resilient. And these aren’t just things that you do to check a box off. There are tools that change how you handle stress, regulate your emotions, and stay grounded when life gets hard. So if you’ve ever wondered how small habits can lead to big mental shifts, you’re going to want to watch that one. Subscribe to the channel if you’re not already so you don’t miss future videos. Thanks for watching today. https://aff61bz25k.mikegeary1.hop.clickbank.net/?pid=472
See you next time.
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We can apply these characteristics in all kinds of situations. We could be very courageous doctors or very courageous YouTube content creators. As long as we do it confidently, with positive energy, and in a way that’s disciplined. This is the key to success. We can cultivate Stoic courage by controlled adversity, also known as askesis, through which we gradually expose ourselves to dispreferred indifferent. In this way, we become more confident, strong, and skilled. Ethically, courage ought to be directed toward pursuits that are in favor of the common good. Preferably, things that are conformable to our own inborn nature, and the nature of our environment. Thus, the Stoic hero is a virtuous hero. Now, Nietzsche was a German philosopher who valued courage very highly. According to him, courage is the main ingredient to become, what he called, the overman or Übermensch. The overman is an individualist who has succeeded to free himself from the master-slave morality and lives self-sufficiently while following his own unique path.
Then, life is no more frightening than playing a video game. According to Watts, this is what the Samurai were after when they were studying Zen. They wanted this metaphysical courage so nothing would scare them. This is easier said than done. And when we put this idea into practice we discover that our bodies still react to the things we perceive as scary.
They see it as a weakness. But is there anything weaker than refusing to observe things how they really are? And to purposefully live in a state of blissful ignorance, simply because we don’t want to be confronted with the harsh reality? It’s no surprise that human beings often engage in the most creative ways of sugarcoating, downplaying, ignoring, and denying. We push trauma into the shadow; we drink away our pain or even create a complete web of lies that protect us from realizing what’s truly going on.
