I need to tell you something…

When I was in college, I went to school for marketing and I thought it’d be really natural just to do a graphic design minor with that. And what’s cool is when you go to school for, I think any kind of art field, is that you learn the principles of design and you realize that artwork that’s really good, it’s not really great by chance. Usually the artists have followed this set of rules or principles, like the rule of thirds or halves or having a clear focal point. And another rule that I learned that was really important was contrast. If you look at artwork, most of it has some significant contrast in it, and that really catches your eye.

And there’s something about the difference between the light and the really dark accents. You don’t want to go overboard with it, but just enough of it, that really makes a piece dynamic and draws your attention to it. And so that was really important as we were learning about design.

But I’m all also realizing that it’s something we can recognize in our own lives that can make a big difference as well. And so today the question I want to ask you is what or who are you contrasting your life to?

And last Friday we shared that we just got back from a missions trip to Mexico. And so any time you visit another culture, this contrast becomes so apparent and we become very aware of how differently we live compared to other people and other people groups.

And so, of course, we went down to Mexico and it was so cool. I’ll put the link for that video down below. I mean, it was truly life-changing.

I hope at some point you get an opportunity to do something like this because it really was powerful. But as I came back and thought about, okay, what was it that was so powerful, I think it was the contrast between how we live and how the people that we were visiting live. And when you contrast something like that and you come back home, you’re like, we are such spoiled brats.

Like we have so much. We have so much.

Not only do we have every need met for food — most of us, I’m talking generally, if you’re watching this video — for clothing and food and shelter and safety. We have all those core, really important needs met. And then beyond that, we have most of our wants met as well. Now what’s funny is it doesn’t feel like that. Before I left, I didn’t feel like I had everything in the world.

But again, when we go and visit somewhere where many of them don’t have all of their needs met and certainly not their wants, then that contrast is so significant and it makes it so obvious how incredibly fortunate we are. So two weeks ago when we left, I wasn’t… I’m grateful, right?

We’re all grateful. We know we live well and all of that and I could appreciate it. And so, my gratitude level was maybe like here. But then we contrast it and we come back and we’re like, oh my goodness.

It is so far up here.

And what struck me about this is that when we contrast like that, it’s amazing and we feel full of gratitude, and we’re so fortunate. We start to think of ways, how can we share some of this with others? However, two weeks prior to that, who were we contrasting with? For most of us day in, day out, we’re contrasting with our neighbors and our kids’ friends’ parents, and the people at work and the people on Facebook. And so we’re continually comparing ourselves of what we have with what they have.

And most often we feel like we are the ones lacking and not having all of the things, because people do such a great job of inflating what it is they have to make it look like they’ve got it all and we don’t. And I was really struck, I was listening to something and the gal said, if you look at the top five causes, what they’re attributing depression and anxiety to, one of the things in the top five is comparison.

And this has risen and grown, this comparison trap, obviously with social media. And so there is so much more comparison going on now than there used to be. And so I think this probably resonates with most of us, we recognize this and we’re like, yeah, I get it.

And so like what Dr. Paul says, he says half the battle is recognizing this. And that’s why I wanted to ask you today, who are you contrasting with? Who are you comparing yourself to? Because who or what we compare to makes all the difference in how we feel about where we are in life, what we have and what we don’t have.

When I’m comparing to our trip to Mexico, goodness, we are some of the richest people in the entire world. Even though we’re middle class and average, we are so incredibly fortunate with everything that we have.

If I’m comparing it to my neighbor that has a bigger house and a nicer car and cuter kids, I don’t know, whatever, all of a sudden, I don’t feel that way. And I start to think of, well, how could I get that? And how could I have what they have?

And so it’s so remarkable, and this is what has stuck with me since we’ve been back, that whoever we’re comparing ourselves to or contrasting with is what sets our perception of how we’re doing and what it is that we feel like we need and want moving forward to feel happy and satisfied and like we have it all too.

And so I know this is great. Like obviously we had this incredible opportunity to go on this missions trip. And so that is super cool. And like I said, I hope at some point you can do that.

Whether it’s an international trip or just stinking finding people in our own community that we can help. We don’t have to go abroad to have a similar experience, but what I want to talk about today then is if we’re recognizing like, yep, I’m falling into this comparison trap a little bit. It does leave me feeling like I’m lacking, or I don’t have as much, what can we do here today to combat this so we really can appreciate all that we have and feel as fortunate as we really are? So number one is I do think we need to find different ways to be around others that we can serve and we can help. Like I said, that contrast, it just makes us come home and appreciate all that we have, I think, if I could make mass generalizations.

So I think finding somewhere where we can get outside of our comfort zone and help others is one of the most fulfilling things we can do. Not only personally, but again, also to appreciate all that we have. Number two, keep decluttering. So what I’ve found that as I declutter my physical items, the things I’m not using, I’m not talking about, I’m not even talking about like sacrificially decluttering. That is not what I’m saying at all.

I’m saying, just getting rid of the stuff that you don’t use in your house, is it unhooks the grip of consumerism in our life.

And it helps us to see the stuff for what it is. Just stuff. Just physical items. And so it’s so ironic to me that I went to school for marketing and I was fully intending to, I really wanted to work for an ad firm and come up with advertising campaigns to sell you things.

Like that was really what I wanted to do. And then we found minimalism and I realized how powerful marketing is and how it causes us to buy so many things that we don’t need. And I’m like, I’m going to use my powers for good and not evil. And so I’m going to market minimalism and try and make it look so attractive that everybody wants to sign up for it. But through this process of decluttering, it causes us to look at our stuff so much differently.

Does that mean we don’t ever want other things or look at other people’s things and be like, “Ooh, that would be nice to have that.” No.

But it makes it so much better. And it’s, I just feel like we have a much more balanced relationship with our stuff now that it’s here for us to use and to serve us, but it is not meant to be a burden. It’s meant to overwhelm us or overrun our homes.

That it’s really they’re tools. Like the things in our home are tools to enhance our life and not the opposite. And so continuing to declutter, that process, it was almost, I don’t know, I kinda want to use the word like a cleansing process, but I don’t wanna over-spiritualize it. But kind of like a cleansing process of like, ugh, ridding ourselves of the consumerism that we’ve indulged in, just again, to bring more balance and perspective of what the role of this physical stuff actually is in our life.

The third thing is to surround yourself with people that don’t make you feel bad about yourself.

We’re not gonna be able to get away from everybody at work or at our children’s school, but we can surround ourselves with people who have similar goals and that have similar values. And so hopefully we can find that in person, like in our community, around us, but if not, I am so grateful that there are so many friends online now sharing this same kind of lifestyle and information. We need to be reminded often of the benefits of this and why we’re doing it so that we stay the course and that we stick with it.

So I think it is really important to surround ourselves with people that have the same goals. And then lastly, I think we have to be brave enough to risk looking weird.

So when we first started really simplifying our house, I think it’s just natural to worry. But like, what if the neighbor comes over? What if my parents come over for Easter and they notice how far we’ve gone? Are they gonna think we’re weird? Are they gonna comment on it?

Are they gonna think that we’ve gone too far? And so there is a certain amount of risk involved with this. And my hope is that if you are willing to take that risk and to start to live a little bit counter-culturally, that you’re gonna find more contentment and peace and happiness in that.

And so it’s gonna get, like for us, I couldn’t care less anymore what people think of us. Because I’ve experienced it now.

I know how good it is. I know how it’s made our family life so much better. Like you could not pay me to take all of that stuff back. But there was the beginning time where I didn’t know for sure how good it was gonna be. And so I hope you’re willing to take that risk to part with things that people have given you, that you’ve spent money on, to say, I don’t know for sure if this is going to lead to what I’m hoping it is, but I’m willing to take that risk and to take that chance because life is too short.

I think that was the other thing just coming back and being like, oh, all the time we’ve spent managing our stuff, when there are so many people to help.

And so I know this will all look different for all of us, but I just think, I don’t want any of us to get towards the end and be like, I missed the boat. I missed the mark by focusing on the stuff and not the people. So that is my encouragement for you and my hope for you. I know it’s not always easy, but it just continues to be one of the most worthwhile things that we’ve done.

And I am so grateful, I shared this on Friday, because I know so many are like, I would love to take my family on a trip like that. Like I want to do that. I value it. I care about it. I want my family to see that same contrast and experience.

And so keep working towards that. That is a goal that Tom and I set early on in our marriage to be able to travel with our family.

And so we don’t do a lot of activities for the kids, and we’ve worked hard to do the Dave Ramsey program and those kinds of things to be able to get to a place like this. So you’re seeing us seven years down the road, not at the very beginning. And so I just want to encourage you, whatever your goals are, keep working towards that.

It is so worthwhile. Of course, we look back now and we say, well, who cares if it took seven years to get here? Because it was so good. And it doesn’t matter how old you are. So just keep doing the decluttering work and I feel like a lot of the other pieces start to fall in place too.

All right, well, I hope this is a little bit encouraging. But I love you. I hope you have a great day, and I’ll see you again soon.

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