Moving towards or away: Being motivated by what matters

Moving towards or away. Being motivated by what matters. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to do some chores and how hard it is to get motivated to do others? It’s like the difference between making a gift for that special someone versus being forced to choose a present for your least favourite cousin. We often spend our energy trying to get away from what we don’t want.

But what if instead, we tried refocusing that energy on moving towards what we do want.  Let’s say you have an essay due soon, but you aren’t sure how to get started. You’re feeling stressed out and unmotivated to write. You know you have to write it and your parents are pressuring you to do well. You can start writing to get away from the stress and get your parents to leave you alone.

But maybe you can write the essay because you really want to graduate from high school.  Either option will work, and the essay will get written, but the way you’re using your energy is different.  In one situation you’re trying to get away from unwanted feelings like stress or nagging adults.  In the other situation, you’re trying to move toward what matters most to you – graduating high school so you can study art.

Doing things that matter to us might not be easy.

It just makes doing the challenging things more worth it. Being motivated by what matters to us can also help us push through and work with life’s challenges.  Sometimes this translates to following the plan, not the mood, because the goal is important to you. We all lose motivation sometimes. We can’t wait for motivation to suddenly appear.

Often, we need to rally to get up and face the world. Remember, baby steps count. Each step you take brings you closer to what truly matters.

This doesn’t mean we always have to move towards what matters. Sometimes trying to get away from what we don’t want makes good sense.

This really isn’t about what is right or wrong or good or bad, it’s about figuring out what works for you.  For example, if you live with a health condition you might be taking medicine to get away from your symptoms, and that’s okay. You might be taking the medicine to stay healthy, and that’s okay too.  In both cases, you’re doing what you need to do to take care of yourself.  Nobody will ever know what truly motivates your choices but you.

The key is knowing why you are choosing to do something. By knowing your why, you can be more motivated to keep going, savour the experience and have more meaning in your life.

So, I invite you to get a little curious.  Notice why you do the things you do in life and then consider how things might be different if you’re moving away from something you don’t want or moving towards something that you do want. So, what is your why?

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