How to Make Money Online (90s Tutorial)

Welcome to the wide world of web welcome I’m your host Smithers O’Neal and on today’s episode we’re going to learn how to make money online my product I’m selling is a book on becoming an internet Master it’s a steal for all of its valuable knowledge covering everything from crafting a good profile to professional email etiquette to even chatting with friends online but it’s not going to sell itself so we’re going to put together a mass email to tell everyone about our new product just make sure to include how your product will improve their lives and send when this makes me Rich I’m going to buy a trophy wife and finally lose my virginity oh a potential customer time to put on our salesman hats stop spamming hm it seems Ronald doesn’t understand the value of this guide.

I spent years creating how should we proceed a follow up with an email next week then every day after that b explain to Ronald that there is a vast difference between K9 excrement and the knowledge contained in this guide see give him a shining example of your product’s value let’s try to sweeten the deal dear Ronald this guide is far from dog shit but I would be happy to send you an entire box full of it at add in his home address that’ll show him I mean business and if he wants to know how I found out where he lives he can simply buy the full guide now that’s something they certainly won’t teach you in marketing 101 come over and.

I’ll rub you H I’d rather avoid a confrontation of this nature what should we do a in exchange for a sale accept Ronald’s proposal but pretend to enjoy it B negotiate the sale he either makes a purchase or you post he enjoys bestiality on a dog Lover’s internet Forum C Market to a different demographic well I can tell you from experience that options like a orb won’t lead you to profit quite like sea will and hey good idea Ronald our Target demographic should be the elderly heck we can even start with his elderly mother after some digging on their family’s history.

I found that Ronald’s mother Edna Goldberg survived the Holocaust by fleeing to New York City in the late 19 1930s with her mother but because of Edna’s old age we’re going to approach her with a much different strategy the strategy of Storytelling we are telling the story of Solomon Schwarzenberg heir to the Schwarzenberg and Diamond Fortune but oh no a gang of bad guys have kidnapped Solomon so they can steal his family’s fortune and do more bad things luckily Solomon was a able to escape however when he was forced to do some pretty awful things he gave up his financial information in order to reclaim it he asks if she can send him an advance of pay but in return a large reward for Edna’s trust and we’ll just finish it out with the Holocaust hurt my family blah blah blah blah blah and tell her how she can pay fishing this hard for a sale sure can be ex exhausting it’s moments like these that.

I like to take a break and get a breath of fresh air relax I’m not talking about going outside I’m talking about today’s sponsor fume is a flavored air device that’s designed to help you kick your bad habits so you can toss them where they belong it sure got a good review for me just don’t revert to your old ways instead sit back and enjoy all natural delicious flavored air like orange vanilla sparkling grapefruit raspberry lemon and much more thanks to fume you’ll feel refreshed as you update your old habits to a much less toxic place a little kindness never hurt anybody so had to try fum.fi 10% off well would you look at that Edna responded to our business opportunity it’s just as.

I thought she couldn’t help but bite and now we’ve reeled her in Hook Line and wait a second my son Ronald can help me oh no we can’t let that cheap son of a gun get in the way of this lucrative business opportunity dearest Edna they have now captured my son Solomon Jr adding drama to our story is a very effective way to create a sense of urgency and then we’ll just add some more spicy details mum throw in a much higher offer.

and the most important a very special link for her credit card at her old age we want to make it very convenient for Edna to give us her financial information we did it Edna sent the money which also means we have her card information stored safe and sound now we can either a buy expensive jewelry and resell it then move all profits safely to an account in the British Virgin Islands B educate Edna on the dangers of the internet well.

I wouldn’t be the master of the internet if.

I didn’t teach people about the wide world of  web and for good measure and we’ll just send it over to that son of hers as a little gift this way Ronald can use my book to educate his mother as outlined in chapter 37 of my book and voila we’re now a successful online entrepreneur who’s earned over 20k in just under one week in the future just make sure to ignore any pesky emails from any ungrateful customers it’s better to focus your efforts on finding new ones and convince the to see how valuable your product really is it doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from anyone can make an honest living in the wide world of  web.

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